oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
