It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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