yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
