so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
