I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
