I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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