saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
