carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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