His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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