Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
