You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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