She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want to make a zoo with you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
