I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
