I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I didn't notice because vodka
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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