People in love make me want to vomit
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
