Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize