my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
