I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
