while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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