i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
