If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
