what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
bring money and cleavage
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
