her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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