I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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