I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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