I wannas sexs uuuuu
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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