Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
