It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
