So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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