it wasn't lemon gatorade
People in love make me want to vomit
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
