i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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