I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
