I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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