My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you win again, gameday.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Someone came in the potted fern
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize