she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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