I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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