When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
