I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
