i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
