the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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