She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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