Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
