Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
