I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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