Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
