If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
