The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
