I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
