i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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