I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
its liver damage thursday
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
