apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
