People in love make me want to vomit
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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