i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
