You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
