i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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