Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
