Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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