Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
