Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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