Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
