Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
