Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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