i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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